Cross This Way

Day 214: It's been five years since I planted two Akebia vines at the corner of my garage in the knowledge that it "takes two to tango" in the Akebia's mating dance. Akebia is not self-fertile. It requires a second plant for successful pollination. Having said that, repeated experiments with the resultant fruit have not resulted in anything particularly appetizing, but the vines have provided me with a unique opportunity to play Gregor Mendel in this documentary of the Akebia's life cycle. Once again, you may find me in the garden, camel-hair paintbrush in hand, the third partner in an exhibition of Akebia porn. (At this point, you might want to send your children into the other room.) My task is simple: stimulate the eager, productive males until they are ready to release their pollen, and then introduce them to the moist, receptive females.

The female Akebia flower is substantially larger than the males which hang around her like groups of oversexed teenage boys. Her multiple pistils exude a sticky substance when she is ready to accept pollen from the males' stamens, but she is selective. She will not accept the offers made to her by the males of her own vine, only those from a second vine. However, the males of my purple Akebia are infertile and in fact, produce very little pollen. This means that I cannot cross from purple to white. The white males are vigorous (fortunately, they don't have the option to wear MAGA hats....just sayin'), and the purple females are more than willing to partner with them. White to white, no; purple to purple, no; purple to white, no; white to purple, BINGO! and then this fall, I'll have another crop of inedible, oddly (if perhaps understandably) phallic Akebia fruit full of huge black seeds which seem to be non-viable. So that said, why do I repeat this experiment every year? Maybe it's because it makes my non-scientific neighbours wonder what I'm doing, or maybe it's just because I can. Either way, it's fun.

Update 5/29/20: Well, this is an interesting turn-up. I seem to have successfully pollinated the white Akebia with its own pollen. I have one cluster (so far) of developing fruit. The species is generally regarded as not being self-fertile, but some sources say that it is partially so. Looks like I proved it!