Chestnut Confusion

Day 361: How do you tell the difference between a horse chestnut (inedible, top) and an edible chestnut (bottom)? First of all, you should know that horse chestnuts belong to an entirely different genus (Aesculus) than true chestnuts (Castanea). However, certain physical similarities have given rise to the common name, and also are reflected in the taxonomy, i.e., Aesculus castanum (think "castanets," a term from the same root word). There are several different species of edible chestnut in the US, and since many are hybrids, I won't go farther than simply lumping them all together under "Castanea." The leaves of the horse chesnut tree are palmate, which is to say they are arranged like fingers on a hand. Those of true chestnuts are alternate, i.e., they are arranged along the stem singly, each leaf pointing away from the ones nearest it. The burr which encloses the nut is quite spiky in true chestnuts; horse chestnuts have fewer spines and look like the head of a mediaeval mace. The burrs of Aesculus (horse chestnut) split into halves, releasing a round "conker" from inside, as opposed to those of Castanea which split into twos or fours depending on species to reveal up to three nuts with pointed tips. Unfortunately, my description of edible chestnuts is going to have to end here because none of those I found beneath the trees had developed fully. All I could find were empty brown husks, no chestnuts to roast, sorry!

Pawn Your Horse

Day 360: I hope to follow this post with another comparing horse chestnuts to edible chestnuts, but I did not think to photograph the leaves of the several species which stand in Morton's Gust Backstrom Park. Nor did I think to gather any of the fallen fruit (fruit?) from beneath the trees, possibly because my only previous attempt at roasting chestnuts was unsuccessful. Thanks to YouTube, I now know a better way to go about it and am kicking myself for not collecting enough for a culinary experiment. In any event, these are horse chestnuts, Aesculus hippocastanum, inedible and mildly toxic, related to Lychees and sometimes called "conkers." True chestnuts are members of the genus Castanea. The nuts are easy to differentiate when in the husk; true chestnuts resemble large, thickly spiny burrs whereas horse chestnuts have fewer spines.

A Crow Walks Into A Bar...

Day 203: A Crow walks into a bar...

When you belong to a photography group which issues a monthly list of assignments a la a scavenger hunt, you never know what you may be asked to do. This month, it was "leave the comfort of your familiar surroundings and go somewhere new. As you experience a new environment for the first time, capture your feelings with your camera." Given that, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and didn't have to go too far from home to achieve my goal.

I'm not a drinker. Nor do I belong in the same social stratum as the area residents who frequent local taverns. Making it even harder to walk into a bar and order a beer was the fact that I'd been out kayaking and was feeling rather chilled, but I steeled myself for the task and approached the barmaid. "I have a rather unusual request," I said, very conscious that my speech patterns and enunciation invariably make me sound like the "after" version of Eliza Doolittle, moreso when I'm about to tell a whopping big fib. "I am participating in a photo journalism class, and we've been asked to take a photograph which captures the atmosphere inside a pub." Sensing some reluctance in the proprietress' eyes, I hastily added, "I'm perfectly willing to buy a beer."

"Long as it's them," she said, pointing to the six men dropping f-bombs two to the sentence, "and don't have me in it." Agreeing, I settled for an Alaska somethingoranother since she didn't have Moose Drool, the only beerish thing I can abide.

I moved to the far end of the bar to wait for my drink. It arrived in a frosted mug, three times the amount of beer I'd normally consume in a year. I set the camera on the bar and opened the flip screen. As I did so, I heard one of the patrons remark boozily, "I think she's takin' pitchurs," which I was...in between great gulps of bitter beverage hurriedly swallowed in the hopes of making a rapid escape.

Fortunately, I was down to the last inch when the conversation one stool over turned to single women and eligible bachelors who didn't have gun-carrying ex-wives (apparently there are none who fit that category in Morton). I was greatly relieved when at last I pushed my glass to the rear of the counter, thanking the barmaid as I did so and leaving with the impression that the words "thank you" were foreign to her ears.

My legs weren't quite going where I'd intended when I made my way out the door of the Bucksnort Pub (its true name, by my oath), and the full effects of my imbibing caught up to me two miles from home. I seriously considered parking the car on the side of the road and making the remainder of the journey on foot. However, now the assignment is complete, and I profoundly hope we don't have a repeat of it any time soon.

Standing On The Corner

Day 148: The Lady in Red stood on the corner, her fine figure the only advertisement she needed to announce her availability. Well-appointed despite her age, she had served the boys of Timbertown for more than half a century, ready to answer to their needs at any hour of the day or night. They gave her respect, those stalwart lads who paid her court, because she never failed to respond to their demands, at her best when under pressure. Yes, when the boys of Timbertown got all hot and bothered, they always turned to the Lady in Red, knowing they could find her standing casually on her corner, blushing with the anticipation of fresh excitement.

Planking - Chicken If You Don't

Day 58: I have my friend Richard to thank for the inspiration behind today's post. He brought up the subject of planking, so I decided to plank myself on his very doorstep, as it were.

Planking (per Wikipedia) is "an activity consisting of lying face down - sometimes in an unusual or incongruous location. Both hands must touch the sides of the body. Some players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play."

Planking is best done with an assistant manning the camera, however if none is at hand, choose your timer setting wisely to allow yourself time to get up before the police cruiser drives by, and be sure you have your cover story well rehearsed in case you've miscalculated.